One Last Hope

I am hanging on to my sanity by the tiniest thread. Not only did I have the most fabulous and seemingly incurable bout of writer’s block, I had a fight with my printer – not a physical one, but very verbal, on both of our parts actually – realised that I have the ability and the means to play the instrumental version of “Colours of the Wind”, and may or may not be sharing my mind with someone else.

Weird.

At any rate, this has been the most average day so far in my holiday. (OK, so I’m only one day in…) I did get some more work done (Go me! I need my own personal team of cheerleaders, who’d like to volunteer?) and had some very interesting conversations with my friends about life; nothing beats DMC’s with Babs and Susanna. (DMC – Deep Meaningful Conversation for all you textlexics).

And today I have no idea what I’m talking about. I didn’t have any life-changing experiences… Well, I had a few, but they don’t even make sense. So the main one was today, I ate an apple (AY!) and then after I ate the apple I sat down on my bed and suddenly felt really sick for no reason. I can promise that it was not in any way related to the apple-eating; it’s NEVER the apple’s fault. So anyway, I felt sick and then – I can’t even explain it – but I suddenly really wanted to eat some fish. Like, my mind started screaming FISH FISH FISH. (Oh, it’s ridiculous, right?) So, I did the first thing logical – picked up my phone to message my mother that I was obviously pregnant since I was craving fish, and I felt sick for an inexplicable reason.

She told me that I probably was, at which point I had a realisation:

Don’t you need to have the sex to have a babies?

Honestly, I’ve been suspecting my pregnancy for a long time, I just didn’t know whether it was real or pseudo. But now I recognise that it was just my mind making it up… Though I’m still unsure as to why I suddenly wanted fish.

Also, the fight I had with my printer was lots of fun. I was trying to print off past exam test papers, and it stopped working after I JUST about managed to print off one. Then it started making funny whirring noises, which I’m sure weren’t normal, and told me that the paper tray was jammed. So I fixed it. But it kept telling me that the paper tray was jammed. At which point I spoke to it very calmly and said, “Excuse me, Mr Printer, the paper tray is NOT jammed, because I rectified that problem nearly five minutes ago. Now if you would kindly shut up and just give me the test papers I needed.” Then it whirred even louder, and I was convinced that it was only doing that to wind me up.

In which case it was working.

And no, it didn’t print off anymore pages. I switched it off, because it was being useless. And please, don’t look at me like that, I know I’m not the only person who makes inanimate objects human or speaks to them. I may be weird, but I know I’m not the only one. (Cue music…)

This writer’s block is fabulous too. How is it that I can whack out almost 1,000 words of absolute nonsense on my blog, but when I need 1,000 words for a short story creative writing competition, all I can get out is my name and age? I’ve never had it this badly before, usually I just read a few writing prompts and BANG I’m back on track. Today, I opened about 937 tabs (not literally, I’m exaggerated from enhanced dramatic effect) of writing prompts and story ideas. NOTHING. NADA. ZILCH. ZIP.

Absolutely nothing. I have never felt this useless in all my time of writing, and I haven’t written ANYTHING for an entire two days, this is a disaster, what is happening to me?!

Anyway, it was the writer’s block that made me realise I may – or may not – be sharing my mind with someone else. When my friend, who usually has lots of ideas, didn’t have any ideas for my story, I made the first logical conclusion:

We probably have the same minds. I mean, in what other situation could we both have writer’s block on the exact same day at the same moment which rendered one USELESS to the other? (Actually, you’re mostly useless anyway…) What fun. I’ll just have to be careful what I’m thinking about, eh?

If you haven’t noticed by now, the title of this post is mostly irrelevant to the points made in this post. I should do this more often, it’s fun to just talk about random stuff. I know certains get pretty sick of me when I’m constantly talking to them about the random stuff that happened in my day… JOKE. Nobody gets sick of me.

So you see those super moist quizzes that you can make about yourself? I totally made one. It’s lots of fun, and it’s so interesting to see who got how many right and also, which ones people got wrong! I’d post it on here, but I don’t think there’d be much point, since I don’t divulge THAT much about my life on my blog in general. Except for the fact that I was pseudo-pregnant. (Is that an actual thing?) And may possibly be getting married.

Well, I think that’s all from me today. I’ve had enough time on this laptop today, and I’m getting a bit tired. Of everybody. No, no, just joking. THIS Queen needs her beauty sleep. Tata my lovely readers, sleep well (if you’re not sleeping already!)

Yawning in excited anticipation of my comfy bed,

Queen Rianna

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p.s. Don’t worry, I’ll post something totally read-worthy tomorrow!

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