I Did NOT Lose

In case you couldn’t figure it out from the title, this is not the Queen. In fact, this is her sister. Also her Monopoly opponent, and I’d just like say: “I did NOT lose. I simply lacked the ability to throw a ten whilst on the just visiting jail square.”


Certain people who read this blog, NOT NAMING ANY NAMES, think that they are so funny. They think that they know the whole story of yesterday’s Monopoly game, and so they think they can mock me. Mock me during my PE lesson. Yes, I’m talking about you, ChaChaSqauPe*.

So there I am, at the far end of the field playing rounders. Now, I know that I can’t bat very well at all, so I don’t really try because there’s no point in looking stupid. So I miss the ball, and begin to jog (NOTE: Not run, jog) towards first base. There’s no way I’m getting to second base, so I wait at first. The next batter is up, so I start walking towards second base, (at this point, I can’t score any more points so I’m not too bothered about running) as I’m walking (I’m not too sure exactly what happened here, I wiped the trauma from my memory as much as possible) I hear “She’s just upset because she lost at Monopoly.” No. Just NO. So in my anger and frustration, I just have to throw my bat on the ground and stomp away as far as possible but close enough as to not disturb the other game. Now, no one in the lesson knows what happened. All they saw was me stomp away. But I was so taken aback that all I could do was sit cross-legged on the grass and contemplate life.

So it’s time to change, and I think that it’s over. That the maximum mock limit was reached.

I was wrong.

“Bestnuts go to bat, Cheeches fielding, pass Go and collect £200, try to land on Free Parking. *smirk*” No. How DARE you insult me like that. Don’t even, I was so ready to lose it, but I didn’t. I would’ve landed on Free Parking, if it wasn’t for you meddling kids (Scooby Doo reference. Don’t ask). So for the second time, you mock me. You are NOT funny. Monopoly is MY game. I win. ME. So I have a little scream (“Shut up, no, don’t even,” sort of thing) and sit down in the batting line.

I’m sat down, reluctant to bat, because there really is no point, I don’t get my team any points. He comes up to me, and suggests another job I can do. I can be a mascot. Now, I genuinely thought about this. Maybe I’d make a good mascot. No.

“You can be any mascot you want… you can be a boot, a top hat…”

Get out. Please, just leave right now.

*p.s. – I totally agree with you. Pocahontas is better than Mulan. But I still don’t like you.


One thought on “I Did NOT Lose

  1. The Queen: You’re not being very sensible right now Bansky, because you’re just aggravating her…
    The Queen’s Sister: Actually, Mr POO, I HAD a get out of jail card, I wasn’t IN jail. And thank you very much, but your comment is unnecessary. Might I suggest you stop criticising me in order to make yourself feel better. Go mark some PE coursework.


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