No Lo Entiendo

Why is sexual infidelity such a popular plot device?

As a means of revision, I’ve watched four episodes of a Spanish TV series – mostly because they speak VERY fast, and if I can understand them, then I can DEFINITELY understand the exam track, and also because they have some really good vocabulary and my Spanish teacher suggested it.

And, don’t get me wrong, it’s been really helpful, because you’re learning and being entertained (for the 61% of the time that you actually understand what’s being said) at the same time.

But I just don’t understand why cheating partners and complex love triangles are necessary.

The program I’m watching, ‘Velvet’ on Netflix, is originally in Spanish, and I’m using Spanish subtitles, because the actor’s mouths move so fast I can barely even grasp what they’ve said before someone replies to them. (!) Set in 50s and 60s Spain, it focuses around a fashion retail store, the eponymous (no surprise) ‘Velvet’ and follows the life of ‘el dueño’, the owner of the store, Alberto Marquéz. He and Ana Ribera, a woman who works for the retailer as a seamstress, have been in love since childhood, and after a botched attempt at running away together (he crashed the car when he heard on the radio that his dad, the original owner of the store, had committed suicide) they decide to just stay with the way things are.

But naturally, that doesn’t work out. After he proposes to her, he finds out that ‘las galerías de Velvet’, the ‘Velvet galleries’ are in a lot of debt. Too much debt, as the plot goes, to even continue as it is. It appears that Ana will have to marry a broke heir. (Gasp. Shock. Horror.) So, what’s the solution for Alberto?

Ask for money from a rich man, whose daughter, Cristina, is enamoured with him. And of course – herein lies the initial birth of complex love triangles – Cristina’s father says he will give Alberto ALL the money he needs… if Alberto will marry his daughter.

Let’s not forget that Alberto is already engaged here. But then, of COURSE, Alberto is conflicted – because he NEEDS the money, but he also NEEDS Ana – and tells her the choice he has. So then, of COURSE Ana does the ‘right’ thing and breaks up with him so that he can save ‘las galerías’, but obviously, after them both being so damn self-righteous, they’re both heartbroken. And thus begins the love triangle. Ana is in love with Alberto. Alberto is in love with Ana. Cristina (i.e. the source of money) is in love with Alberto. Alberto breaks up with Ana to marry Cristina. (They’re not married yet but please be aware that this has all literally happened within 4 episodes!)

That’s not even the best part. Ana almost goes to Barcelona on a train, when she hears Alberto propose to Cristina at a huge press event, but then she doesn’t. She just changes her mind, just like that. Even though her suitcase was packed and she had a dramatic journey to the train station and everything. And you know how we find out she didn’t leave? Alberto goes home from the big party (where he publicly proposed to Cristina) and Ana is just in his house. She’s just IN HIS HOUSE. JUST THERE.

So that’s my first complaint. Why the complicated love triangle? Why couldn’t Alberto just say to Cristina’s dad, “You know what, mate. I’d LOVE to marry your daughter, but regretfully, I can’t. I’m already promised to another. Can we please try a different course of action that doesn’t entail me lying to your daughter or me being in a generally loveless marriage?” I’m not even going to try to translate that into Spanish. Not to mention that Cristina is just HELLA annoying – she constantly looks like a dying puppy. Alberto and Ana are STRESSING me out; even a person who didn’t understand what they were saying (in other words, me 49% of the time) would be able to figure out how WHIPPED they are on each other.

And to make matters better, some designer guy, called De la Riva or something (I don’t know!) who is CLEARLY in love (or at least, was at some point in his life) with Cristina, is coming to design a new range for ‘Velvet’. Like it’s so obvious, he keeps being like to her, “Estás muy guapa. Estás preciosa. Estás maravilloso.” (Which means, “you’re so pretty. You’re beautiful. You’re marvellous.” Which is dodgy because, like Alberto is standing RIGHT there. And OKAY, he doesn’t love her, but De la Riva doesn’t know that!) WELL I WONDER WHAT WILL HAPPEN NOW.

But it just gets worse. Ana’s roommate, Rita – who is my actual FAVE, she’s such a sweetheart – is in love with her sister’s boyfriend, Pedro. Not to mention that Pedro is WHIPPED on his girlfriend, Clara, but Clara has gotten a new job as a secretary of the office to Alberto’s best friend, Mateo. And – naturally, because what is a TV show without a womanising best friend? – Mateo seduces Clara and Clara is torn between her BOYFRIEND and a GUY WHO IS TRYING TO GET INTO HER PANTS. I guarantee she will end up pregnant for the SUB-DIRECTOR (yes, because not only do we like complicated love triangles and sexual infidelity, but also inter-class relationships; and very dramatically so) and he will ditch her.

Like, there’s nothing wrong with inter-class relationships (is that even a thing? that sounds so pretentious!) but why is EVERY single main relationship in the program EMPHASISING the idea of forbidden love? Ana is an orphaned seamstress, her man is the heir to a multi-million euro company. Clara is a sales-advisors-cum-secretary; her love interest is the best friend to said heir and the sub-director to said multi-million euro company. Rita is in love with the VERY much unavailable Pedro; the boyfriend of ‘su hermana’.

I could go on, but I won’t. (Only 12 more minutes to this revision break now…)

And what else? Well, Luisa, Ana’s other friend, has a very sick husband. An initially nice benefactor, a really rich man called Francisco, who gets Luisa her job back when she’s fired, and begins paying very DODGY attention to her when Luisa is helping his WIFE with her dresses that she buys, pays for her husband to get treatment in a hospital. Which is great right?

WRONG. Because in TV shows, when a rich man shows up and offers to help out a pretty young girl, we all KNOW what’s coming.

He makes a move on her. This disgusting old man literally tells her that unless she ‘thanks him’ (euphemism intended) then her husband won’t be able to keep his bed in the hospital. Which is ridiculous really. (And – another prediction – I don’t doubt she’s going to end up killing him, probably with some sewing implement, like scissors or a needle or something, I don’t doubt it for a second).

I mean, I can’t even keep up. I’ve watched four episodes, and so far there has been:

  • A suicide
  • A funeral
  • Some fainting
  • Dramatic carrying of said-fainted person
  • A failed elopement
  • A car crash
  • A proposal
  • A break-up
  • Another proposal
  • A long-lost son returning
  • Some sort of financial scam perpetrated by said ‘long-lost son’
  • Like 3 or 4 affairs (I can’t keep up?)
  • LOTS of blackmail – so much, I didn’t know was possible
  • A few trysts (of course, Alberto and Ana)
  • Some broken hearts
  • Lots of tears
  • Dramatic raining scenes
  • Political Intrigue (ay! Get some History knowledge up in here…)
  • Some foreboding break-ups
  • Implied incest (see: ‘long-lost son’)
  • Stolen stuff (dresses, kisses, money, hearts, you know the sort)

Anyway, I regret searching ‘Wikia’ because I found out something that I REALLY didn’t want to know. So know, if I watch it, rather than reading the subtitles, all I’ll be thinking about a certain character is, “I’m watching a dead man walking.” And that makes me cry a lot. So I don’t think I can watch it anymore for the plot; I’ll just watch it for the vocabulary.

I mean, on the plus side, I now have two sheets of A4 paper, both double-sided with new words and such that are relevant to my course. Which is good right?

But I still have to ask:

Why is sexual infidelity such a popular plot device?

There are very few TV programs in general that steer entirely clear from this plot device. (Except for maybe ‘Downton Abbey’ but there are definitely a lot of sex scandals in that even still…) But why? – is my question. Are the writers and directors so bored they feel like they have to include this ‘exciting’ device? Or is a TV program just not complete without people who cheat and don’t (or do) get caught?

Either way, ‘no lo entiendo‘.

My revision break is over, so now I must desaparecer.

The Faerie Squad Mother x

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How Ironic

I think it’s really funny how some people seem really surprised that I’ve suddenly begun to talk more about racial issues and such, not just on my blog but also in real life.

I’d just like to let everyone into a little secret: I’ve always been talking about this stuff.

It’s just that when I used to talk about it, I tried to keep my voice as quiet as possible so that nobody complains that they’re offended or that I’m a ‘racist intolerant’ or whatever else. But now, I’ve made a conscious choice to make my voice heard.

I also find it really funny how before, when I was content to quietly mumble about social injustices with my friends, there was never a reaction, but the instant that I find and use my VOICE and on my personal BLOG of all places (what am I thinking? How RUDE of me; my PERSONAL blog?!) people suddenly make a fuss about my opinions.

I bet if I was to post a blog complaining about the Instagram update and saying how unacceptable it was, people would comment things like, “This is so true! THERE IS SO MUCH INJUSTICE IN THE WORLD!!!!!” or “I’m so glad SOMEONE said something! I thought I was the only one!” or even “I actually think it’s alright.” Even if I was to post entirely in (probably very poor) Spanish, I guarantee people would still comment, “I couldn’t understand anything but this is so true!” Even my post about my somewhat controversial religious beliefs didn’t elicit the level of hate and disagreement that my racial post from Sunday did – both online and IRL. But when I post about racial issues people tell me, “You make this all up” and “You’re not even oppressed. Go live in a third world country and see what oppression REALLY is” and “Stop complaining! You’re not helping your own situation by fulfilling stereotypes!” (Which, may I just ask, stereotypes do I fulfil?)

Plus, oppression is relative. Just because I don’t live in a third-world country or somewhere where many women are openly treated as subordinates, doesn’t mean I am not still at a disadvantage in my own country. I’ve mentioned before, I’m a black female. I live in a Western Society, where the institutions cater for White Heterosexual Rich/Middle-Class Cishet Males before anybody else. This means that within my own native system, I am at a disadvantage. And I think people think of oppression and imagine slavery being reintroduced into society; but it’s a lot more than that. Oppression is about how prejudice and discrimination has become institutionalised and normalised to the point where a specific set of people are benefitting – and it just so happens that I am not a person who is actively benefitting from the system.

I mentioned in my #BodyPostivity and Letter to my 8-year old self post that I’m learning to love myself and that nobody can make me feel inferior without my permission. Which is very true. In the past couple of days, because of the reactions to real life and on-line situations, I’ve begun to doubt the validity of my voice and my opinions. But then I get slapped back into reality and realise, “Why am I letting bitter, ignorant people limit my voice?”

And I realise that, as much as I don’t like confrontation, some things have to be said. It has taken me SO long to climb out of the box that I was put in from Primary School, and I’m still on my self-love journey. I literally cannot believe that I would even consider taking any anonymous person;s comments to heart. I literally cannot believe that anyone would take time out of their day to read through a post, become offended by the literal truth and then decide to share their negativity  – to be honest, I love hearing from my fans. Especially the bitter ones. (Plus, I’m flattered you think me so significant!)

Anyway, let’s not dwell on negativity.

I had an exam yesterday, a written one for Drama. Which went really well. We had to sit two papers; a live theatre and a studied play script. For my playscript, we studied Henrik Ibsen’s ‘A Doll’s House’. If you HAVE read it or had to perform it then I feel sorry for you if you had to be Nora. If you haven’t, maybe do in your free time. It’s an interesting play definitely, but you have to take into consideration a lot of contextual factors. Interestingly, it touches upon issues of female subordination, to an extent, because – long story short – the play centres around a married couple, Nora and Torvald Helmer. They live in 19th century Norway, and Nora is literally treated like a child by her husband – a doll, in a sense of speaking, hence the title. It’s actually SO weird, he calls her all sorts of weird, dodgy pet names, and she loves it, but she’s quite manipulative.

To be honest, their marriage is just a disaster waiting to happen.

But in the end (SPOILER aha) she leaves him after a LOT of unnecessary and avoidable drama because she realises that she has become such a trophy wife and a pet to him that she doesn’t even know who she is herself. She says she wants to discover herself or whatever, so she leaves him with the children.

Great story.

But anyway. I have an exam next Tuesday for Spanish Listening, Reading and Writing which should be VERY interesting, seeing as I’m a lot worse at Spanish than I initially realised. I’m sitting in my study periods, and I’ve just spent about an hour practicing Spanish words and phrases and grammar etc. (Memrise is actually fantastic. It is keeping me going this year in Spanish, I swear!)

Because of the fact that my AS subjects have technically ended, I now have two mornings and two afternoons off from school, which is literally fantastic because it means I can go home earlier and I’M SO READY FOR SUMMER NOW.

PLEASE HURRY UP JULY!

Because they’ve changed the system and as of next year, AS-Levels will technically no longer be a thing, they’re introduced these new exams which are like UCAS Prediction exams, so that when we apply for University (next September, I think, we start) then you have the Predicted Grades from the ‘official’ University system, I suppose.

Which sucks because it means more unnecessary and stressful exams. But whatever.

I need to do some more Spanish.

Adiós.

Love the Faerie Squad Mother x

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Oops! I Forgot to Post…

I’ve recently discovered one of my favourite phrases to use during my posts on this blog. This comes in many forms, but interestingly, they vary so much that I can’t even find some of these. After a quick search for them, I found a few, some of them being:

“I’ll post about that another time.”

“That’s a story for another day.”

“But I’ll write about that later.”

Amongst others. So I had a quick scroll through all my posts and found some things (but probably not all) that I said I would post about later, but never ended up posting.

  1. Thinking About the Future (found in my second-ever post; I reference to the future a lot, but I don’t think that ‘Dear Future Husband‘ really counts as thinking about the future in a profound sort of way…)
  2. Racist and Offensive Opinions of Small-Minded White People (which was in the recent rant about Black History, and I’m pretty I’ve mentioned it briefly before)
  3. Street Shakespeare (when I was talking about my One-Man shows)
  4. Why I Should Be Voted Prime Minister of England (does this even need context?)
  5. A Rant About Visiting the Care Home with NCS (but the thing about rants is that you can only rant when you’re in the mood… so this post doesn’t seem like to happen)
  6. Turning Books into Movies (I actually posted this, though?)
  7. Why Disney Sucks (but I always talk about this, though haven’t done an actual post dedicated to this… I suppose to some extent ‘Fairy Tales Should Be Illegal’ counts, but not really? I mean, that was more generic than specifically aimed at Disney)
  8. How To Be A Boy 101 (long story short, I wrote 11 pages of this social satire when I was half-tired in Wales during NCS, at about 12 at night, and it made me cringe so much when I read it back; I literally indirected so much, and I know why now LMAO)
  9. My 10 Questions (The Sisterhood of the World Blogger Award required me to write 10 questions, so I did, but I wanted to answer them myself. So maybe I shall)

Don’t get too excited. This post doesn’t mean that I have the intention to write about these all soon, but I will try my best. (No promises, because we know how well those have gone down, looking up at that 9 strong list there…) And this was just a quick post anyway.

Also, I have updated my site and its pages, so I’ve moved my ‘Exam Diaries‘ page, and now have an ‘Ask The Faerie Squad Mother‘ page, where you can drop comments and questions, and I’d love for you to do that as well. (I’ve put the links in there, in case you can’t find them, but they should be on the Menu along the bottom of your page.)

But that’s it today. Perhaps you would like me to post some of the points above, and maybe I will at some point. Keep reminding me. 🙂

Take care everybody, and have fun going back to school LOL.

The Faerie Squad Mother x

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I’m Still Here

Yes, I’m alive. Yes, I’ve been slightly busy with work (but mostly procrastination). Yes, I’m having difficulties prioritising my life and everything.

So, I was thinking about what to write today. Our holidays have ended and now I’m back at school, which, naturally, is great excitement for me…

Not.

I had a really great topic to talk about, something I was discussing with my sister but she’s sooo great and she can’t remember either. I think I’ll just ramble for a while until I get bored of it. I know I was supposed to post part 3 like… a month ago, but I’m kind of still in the process of writing it – it’s not a long post but it is definitely one which needs to be written with the appropriate respect and there’s a lot of emotion going into it, so you may have to hold out just a little bit longer.

I usually talk about quite deep stuff, so today I thought I’d just tell recap the happenings from my day. It sounds pretty boring because it practically is.

First of all, we had Maths. Now, if you know me, you’ll know that I actually have come to like Maths. Yes, I may have mentioned in the past I disliked it, but I definitely like certain topics, like trigonometry and algebra. (It’s just so comforting knowing that there is an answer and the feeling of satisfaction when you find the correct one is amazing) So, we’re just doing revision right now, and I moved next to Susanna so we could do the test paper together, but also discuss some VERY important happenings in our lives… (By which we just mean what we’re going to do in the Summer and stuff). I promised her that I’d watch a show she wanted me to watch, and we both started making plans about random stuff… all while completing our test papers of course; we’re relatively good at multitasking.

We have this really cool teacher (cool being the subjective word here) but we just call him ‘Klods’, and he is actually a great teacher. But God bless him, me and Susanna being Grammar Nazi’s are always getting on at him with his grammar. Today was an exception, but I think it was only because it was Monday; he’ll slip up soon and we’ll be there to correct him swiftly. (I think he’s learning to appreciate our corrections, and no longer takes offence to them LOL). At any rate, he was coming round to check everyone’s work, and, as he usually does when he hears noise, accused me and Susanna.

“Rianna and Susie, shush.” He says in his brisk Polish accent. After which Susanna adds indignantly, “Sir, it wasn’t even us, we actually weren’t talking, I’m not sure how you could have heard our voices.” At which point he concedes defeat to her point and goes, “Yes, yes OK, it wasn’t you, but shush please.”

Thank you Klods. Because that makes so much sense.

After Maths, we have this subject called Study Skills, which is literally a waste of an entire period. Yes, it is as useless as it sounds. We’re suppose to learn about how to be able to think critically, and analyse things and form our own opinions, but we do that anyway? Regardless, in this subject, I swapped places with a girl in my class to sit with my Elms buddies so that we could get some revision done and, of course, discuss the most recent happenings on ‘The Next Step’ – which reminds me, I need to do some more Physics revision… Anyway. As we were talking, our conversation got slightly political and we started leaning towards the politics of America. After we all agreed that America was problematic, Izzy decided that we should quarantine them; she said we should line their coasts with ships and just shoot anyone who tries to leave. Of course, we all thought this was a good idea in theory, but not in practice. (And also the whole ‘innocent casualties’ thing we weren’t particular fans of, because that’s not our style, that’s America’s…)

Socrates kindly added that America would just try to bomb us, after which Izzy added that they wouldn’t be able to, because our ships wouldn’t allow us to leave. After Socrates and I picked her point apart, she eventually conceded defeat, at which point Freya suggested that we dig tunnels under America and put bombs in these tunnels. I had to just very quickly add in that America was not a big fan of the ‘proportionate force’ policy. If we bombed America, they would retaliate by sinking the whole of the UK… most likely including Ireland. At which point everybody agreed. Nobody really had any better ideas for controlling America except for being elected as President, which none of us could do anyway, because none of us are… well, American.

Very productive lesson.

At break, I learnt that Mrs J the librarian, had ordered a lot of money worth of books. I was very excited. Unfortunately, they didn’t come today; hopefully, they will tomorrow, because I really want first dibs. I was mostly sleeping through Geography. We had a supply and it was difficult to stay awake, my Geog bud wasn’t in, so I had to sit through an entire hour with no motivation and no social interaction. It almost killed me.

I HAD DOUBLE SPANISH. Honestly, I’m very unsure as to how I survived it. An entire TWO HOURS of Spanish, and Praise God that I’m still alive. I have two controlled assessments coming up (both of which will contribute to my lack of frequented posts) and – OK, quick story break.

So there’s this assistant teacher in Spanish and after a misunderstanding a while ago with Susanna, I think I have given the impression that I have a childish crush on him… which I completely do NOT, but I’m just not very articulate sometimes, HAHA. So, what happened was, usually when I come into the classroom, Roddy (that’s my Spanish teacher) he asks me a question; something in Spanish which is usually a variation of, “How are you? How was your day?” or something like that. Anyway, usually, I’m quite good with coming up with answers in Spanish and occasionally, Guadalupe and I will engage in a short conversation in Spanish with him.

Except this one time. I came into the classroom with Susanna, and Roddy was there as usual, but the assistant teacher was there too, and Roddy asked me about an assembly I had done – he said something like “That assembly was very interesting, where did the idea come from?” – and I fumbled for an answer, so he ended up repeating the question several times, and then he had to say it in English (even though I totally knew what he was saying!) and all I could manage was, “Mucho gusto.” (Which means, “Nice to meet you.”) Well done Rianna. Clap for you. And then I had to go and make it worse, I couldn’t just leave him thinking I was incapable, I went and added, “I did actually know what you were saying sir, it’s just when [the assistant teacher] is here, I can’t think properly, he kind of makes me a bit nervous and I kind of forget all my Spanish.” And then Susanna laughed, at which point I realised it sounded like I had admitted an adolescent crush. Fabulous.

And to make it even BETTER, sometimes we practice our Spanish speaking with the assistant, and me and Guadalupe went into the office with him, and he asked us “Como te llamas?” Which means, “What is your name?” Now, he is a native Spanish speaker and he’s very fluent, but he wasn’t even talking quickly. I’m not sure what I was thinking (!) but I replied, “Estoy cansada.” Which means, “I am tired.” Of course, I immediately realised my mistake, internally face-palmed and sank humiliated into my chair as he repeated his question in different forms, “Tu nombre? (Your name?)” before eventually resorting to just ask me in English. At which point, I felt TERRIBLE. I understood him, but ever since, I’ve been soo embarrassed around him; not only does he think I have some cutesy crush on him (gross), he also thinks I am incompetent of Spanish speaking, and can’t even answer a SIMPLE QUESTION.

Well, those are my moments. Those are the moments I am sharing, which encompass my abject humiliation, my drama, and highlight a snippet of my life… Though not a very exciting one. You’ll have to excuse me for rambling so long.

Until next time,

Queen Rianna

cropped-yto5pzlte

I Won’t Say I’m In Love!

There is nothing more relaxing at the end of a long stressful day than coming home and singing along to Disney tunes on the piano. Piano is great, Disney music is greater and, perhaps some liberal sprinkling of Les Miserables (the book is better than the musical, JUST SAYING) and ‘bibbity-bobbity-boop’. I don’t know how it happens but listening to your favourite music is one of the best ways to release all those pent up emotions inside of you. Belting out your favourite tunes also seems to help.

Try it. Really. If you haven’t then you need to. Other than the fact that I rant about Disney all the time, about their unrealistic standards and distorted presentations of love and marriage, the OSTs are just.

Just. (If you don’t know what OST stands for, then it is ‘Original Sound Track’). For those of you who are knowledgeable about Disney songs – or even if you aren’t – then here are my top 10 of all time. I’ve even included the YouTube links –  lucky you! – so if you are uneducated about these songs, then you will no longer be. Kudos points to all the followers who learn the words. (And sing them to me, if you have the guts. Like, that’s on the list of ways to my heart, so definitely, if you want a relationship with me, sing me a Disney song. In fact, if you want to marry me, sing me a Disney song… although I doubt there’ll be many takers on that offer!)

DISCLAIMER: I’d just like to take a short moment to point out that even as I typed these, there was a lot of conflict going on. Of course, at the end I will give an honorable mention to songs that ALMOST made it onto the list. But here begins the countdown…

10. Tangled – I See The Light (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yD_IEqxp-e0

From the moment I saw Flynn and Rapunzel on that boat surrounded by those lanterns (SPOILER aha) I was absolutely hooked. This song is beautiful, and even if you don’t like Tangled, unless you don’t have a heart, you will like it.

9. Princess and the Frog – Almost There (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljdAYTH5QSY)

This song is inspirational. Really, I mean, minus the opening her own restaurant thing, I am practically Tianna. (And not just because I am also a black female…) Like, I relate with every word she sings. So, ‘Look out boys, I’m coming through.’

8. Beauty and the Beast – Something There (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwZEcdBMLLU)

Awww. This song highlights the cutesy bonding moment between Belle and Adam (or the Beast, as he was known at the time) and it makes me want to have snowball fights with a huggable beast who has anger issues. Slightly.

7. Tarzan – Strangers Like Me (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zc3MnoSS5Hw)

What this song does to me can’t even be put into words, like it is just the SWEETEST. Tarzan’s beginning of recognition of who he is and then watching him fall in love with Jane. Just UGH, beautiful.

6. Aladdin – A Whole New World (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kl4hJ4j48s)

OK, so this song was very close to be put into the top 3, but may I just say how difficult it is to maintain a duet with only one person?! (Yes, I sing duets alone, doesn’t everyone?) And I am a slight loser, but I haven’t found anyone to sing this with me who a) knows the words, b) likes this movie almost as much as I do and c) can actually sing.

5. Hercules – Zero to Hero (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pa0lMzaljTk)

YAAAAS! Get some of that soul in there girls! The Muses are gorgeous GOSH, Hercules is BAE, Pegasus is cute, even Phil is slightly… sweet in his own goat-y way. But this song got me feeling some kind of way, you know?

4. Hercules – I Won’t Say I’m In Love (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tl0DMTlwLw4)

I think this is the only movie with two OSTs in my top 10… but totally deserving and worthy! This song kills me every time I listen to it, like I’m pretty sure in a manner of ways I relate with both Meghara and Hercules. Even though it is even harder than ‘A Whole New World’ to sing the parts of like… 6 women, at any rate, Megules is my fave #OTP from Disney.

AND NOW, the final countdown for the top THREE!

3. The Little Mermaid – Part Of Your World (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BZp2dxpwF8)

The words are just. The song is just. The sentiment is just.

What’s a fire and why does it, what’s the word…

BUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNN.

If you don’t understand this reference, I’ve kindly included the YouTube link for you. If you do, need I say much more?

2. Mulan – I’ll Make a Man Out of You (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSS5dEeMX64)

Whew, OK Mulan, like SLAY gurl. She becomes a kick-ass, strong, powerful, independent female (albeit dressed as a male, but never mind) and basically ends up saving the entire empire of China. Nobody can tell me that this song does not kick butt. Because, honestly, Mulan is a better, cooler man than all of them, and that says quite a lot. (Also, Shang is quite hot).

1. Pocahontas – Colours of the Wind (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4vkq2ztxSw)

I cry, I die.

This song covers every possible theme, like I’m so proud of her for not taking John Smith’s crap, about him calling her a ‘savage’ and ‘uncivilized’. Like, NO honey, that’s not how you win her over, you don’t insult her entire tribe. But this song, she’s just basically cussing out John and all the English people and I love how she’s so proud of her background and heritage, like yes Poca, you stay strong for the Powhatan tribe.

Although John’s change of heart did slightly win me over. I can’t lie, he is slightly cute, but I’m still not impressed with his narrow-mindedness. Although, I do ship them together. (Warning: If you love John and Poca, please DON’T WATCH THE SECOND MOVIE!)

Other notable mentions:

Bet On It, High School Musical 2 | Start of Something NewHigh School Musical | Strut, Cheetah Girls 2 | Son of Man, Tarzan | Circle of Life, The Lion King | So This is Love, Cinderella | Work This Out, High School Musical 2 | Cinderella, Cheetah Girls


Congratulations to all the songs that made it up there, and totally keep it up guys, stay strong all those who were so close.

But that’s all from me today guys. Hopefully tomorrow I will have some words of wisdom of some sort for you all, and perhaps some actual helpful ramblings. Get a bit more personal or something.

Thanks for reading, I’m sorry I’ve been so rubbish recently,

Queen Rianna

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The Queen’s Sister Speaks

*grabs mic*

It’s me, the Queen’s younger sister. Let’s not beat around the bush here:

I’m the one who encouraged her to start this blog. I’m the one who chose the original theme. I’m the one who is and will always be her #1 fan (don’t tell her I said that though). And what’s the best part of it all?

I’m the one who gets absolutely ZERO recognition. None. Nada, for our Spanish speakers. I mean, I’ve had to put up with this tyrant of a Queen for my entire life, being the punching bag of her existence. Then she hops up the blog ladder I positioned perfectly for her, and what does she do? Break the rungs as soon as she’s stepped on them, preventing me from ever reaching her fabuliciality (pronounced: Fab-yu-lish-EE-al-it-ee). Even though it should be mine.

But I’m not here to rant. That’s a lie, I was, but since I am unable to blog (is that a verb?) I will leave it to her to destroy my chance at fame.

Adiós.

Joke, joke, you have me for longer. I have decided that my specialty is ranting, so I will now rant about a topic that is very close to my heart… *frantically searches brain for topics close to heart* ahem *nervous cough* *shuffles papers professionally*

Ahem. Now, the moment we have all been waiting for, drum roll please *chirp chirp* if that’s how you want to be, then it’s fine. It doesn’t bother me. Anyway, the topic is…

The Problems With Microsoft.

No, I’m not discussing old people business, I’m not that old yet, but the side of Microsoft we are all very familiar with: Word, PowerPoint Presentation, Excel, Publisher, etc. (There is no etc, those are the only ones we really use, anyway…) So here’s the setting:

You’re frantically typing away, so fast that your fingertips are leaving smoke and possibly fire on the keyboard, because you’ve been a really good procrastinator and not done anything constructive, therefore forgot about your 37 page essay due in first lesson tomorrow. So, after about 3 hours in total, excluding all unnecessary breaks, you look up at your screen triumphantly. Me – 1, Teacher – 0. You then hit save, just to be safe. It is then that the worst possible circumstance could occur. One that we are sadly familiar with. One that has ruined many lives, and given pure to joy to a certain group or teachers that find pleasure in watching you suffer in a detention. I quote:

“Microsoft Word has stopped working. Windows is checking for a solution to the problem…”

Or the classic:

“Microsoft Word (Not Responding)” *screen goes white*

Me – 1. World – 1,000,000.

Why? Why must this happen? Your word count was perfect. You used every key word imaginable, yet Microsoft fails you when you need it most. *dramatic sigh*

The moral of the story is…

Never rely on Microsoft (when you REALLY need the job done). *drops mic* Oops, sorry. That didn’t end how it was meant to, but seeing as I’m leaning off of my super high bed onto the laptop on the floor writing this, you’ll have to forgive me. After all, I’m not the actual blogger here. Just her sister who experienced the hardship described above, about an hour ago. No, I didn’t bother to rewrite it. I’m busy doing this instead. On reflection, maybe it’s a good thing Rianna never let me climb up the blogging ladder, I guess it’s not my specialty.

(The Queen’s Sister)

What Do You Do With A Drunken Sailor…

What do you do with a drunken sailor?

What do you do with a drunken sailor

Early in the morning?

Really, I’m unsure. but to be honest, if you’re asking me that question, the first thing / would ask is, “What are you doing with a drunken sailor at early hours in the morning?” And the second thing I would say is, “Actually, on second thoughts, please don’t answer that question.”

That seems like a weird song to start a post off with… and you’re right. It is weird.

And likewise was my day.

I can’t seem to properly sum up my day, honestly. I mean, look at the fact that I’m writing this post at quarter to 11 at night; it is WAY past my bedtime. (Don’t judge me, every Queen needs some intense beauty sleep… Well, other than Beyonce I guess). And I’m literally in my bed, in my pyjamas and everything. Just typing on my blog.

And why? Because I am the best procrastinator (is that a profession? Even if it was though, I probably wouldn’t even get round to applying for it) in the world. I managed to tidy out my ENTIRE wardrobe, reorganize every drawer and sort out my whole desk… But have not got a single SECOND of revision done. (Well, I’m not sure that’s strictly true, I mean, I have done about 6 seconds in total of revision). Somebody talk about priorities!

So. I’ve decided to write on my blog because it seems to be a way of escape and expressing my feelings other than ranting down the phone to a friend, talking at eighty miles a minute. And yes, I’m slightly tired. And yes, my back and my fingers and my entire body aches. But I’m also getting more and more stressed about the fact that the exam date is looming closer and closer, when all I want to do is run away from it.

And eat some apples. (Not even in a weird way, but since I got my braces off, I’ve been obsessed with eating apples! Lucky me, right?) The juicy kind, delicious ones. Shiny red ones and the sweet, crisp ones which make a loud crunching noise when you bite them.

I can’t believe I’m up at 22:51 fantasizing about eating apples. It probably sounds very… weird, but it isn’t even a euphemism.

Not to mention that I am VERY confused. Is there a way to, like, unwind all your feelings? And separate them all and untangle them, so I can understand them! Sometimes, it’s terrifying how little I understand myself. I don’t know what I want and when I think I want something, it seems like I don’t… I’m very weird like that. But things happen and then you think, “Do I…?” and then something else happens and that feeling is very quickly squashed, or smothered by other more intense feelings, like annoyance, like anger, like bad moods, and then POOF! Just like that, it’s gone.

I’m in no rush to try to understand myself anyway. God willing, I have 50 to 70 more years to figure myself out, and even then I’m pretty sure others will understand me more than I do. What makes me tick? I’m not sure.

I think that it’s a combination of different things. I really do think that my friendships and relationships help to define who I am, as in the value and esteem I hold myself in. I also think that my work and my achievements play a big role in everything I do. There are a number of other things, like my writing, like school, like my personal hobbies, which I think are all PARTS of what makes me tick, but I don’t think I can highlight any one thing which I can say, without which I would not be able to survive…

One thing I know for sure though; everything I do has an emotional reason behind it. I am emotionally attached to everything and there is nothing I am able to do emotionally detached and unbiased. Nearly everything I do has a reason. I wrote a poem for a reason, be it because of inspiration or a personal experience. I sent a text for a reason, I read that book for a reason, I wore this top for a reason… and the list goes on and on. And it sounds a bit stupid, of course I don’t pore over my drawers in the morning and think “Hmmm, now which shirt will I wear today? Maybe I’ll be slightly rebellious and wear the crisp white one? Or will I wear my crumpled white one?” Not everything I do is to make a statement, but any of my friends can tell you that I am one emotional chick.

I’m starting to feel a bit like Cinderella. It’s 23:03 and I’m still typing away like a madwoman, raging at my keys. (Poor keyboard, it’s not your fault you have to put up with a mistress so cruel, I’m sorry…) I’m just waiting for the moment, any time now, when I turn back into a less-than-average girl, going about her ordinary life after she’s just danced with her prince. No dancing for me unfortunately, but I’m still working on the prince/King thing. (If you’d like to read more about that whole thing, then totally check out my other page, My Ramblings, and scroll down to ‘A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes’… Prepare to have your heart ripped out, ‘cos mine was, and I wrote it!) Damn, I type pretty fast.

My whole day has been a bit of a blur. I’ve been in a bad mood since this morning, I’m a bit of a pooey person, so I sometimes take it out on my friends, which is entirely unfair (So I apologise to you Babs, Ewnte and Susanna!) but it’s kind of as if the reality is just weighing down on me now.

The Summer Term is almost here now. And here I am, up at 23:07, when really I should be in bed sleeping. I sincerely hope that neither my mum or dad wake up and catch me in here. Initially, I was doing homework. I had to write something on my group blog for my drama project at school, and then I was going to start learning my Spanish paragraphs (yes, I finally wrote them!) but I thought, ugh can’t be bothered. Asi que, estoy aqui. (And so, here I am). 

I probably won’t be doing this again anytime soon though. It’s all well and good now, but in the morning I’m going to be like a zombie. I have a crapload of work to finish off, I’m DEFINITELY going to fail my drama writing exam, and I’ve done no revision for any other subjects other than English. I should probably – no, need to – sign up for those classes after school. There’s supposed to be a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow, right?

Wrong. First of all, this is a pretty sucky rainbow. Rainbows are supposed to be pretty and sparkling and multicoloured, but this ‘rainbow’ is pretty pathetic. And the pot of gold at the end isn’t even a pot of gold, it’s just a piece of paper with some letters on it. Some very important, life-altering letters, however.

Well, let’s just hope those letters are all A’s and A*’s.

Here’s a joke before I go:

Q: Why was six afraid of seven?

A: It wasn’t. Numbers are not sentient beings, and therefore incapable of feeling emotions. 

I’m great at killing moods. Especially at *glances at clock time* 23:14 at night. I’d just like to think I’m funnier at times when my thoughts are not coherent. (DISCLAIMER: I am not an alcoholic, I just really need to sleep)

Goodnight everyone, and LOL to all those of you who are still up reading this. Probably my Elms buddies… Kisses.

Queen Rianna

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Procrastination

Tomorrow I have four and a half (I’ve already written the first half) Spanish paragraphs due.

Ah, pues. (Oh well).

I’ve decided that my GCSE controlled assessments can wait. I mean, what are exams right? Especially the ones that can potentially shape your future? They’re practically pointless.

I don’t have much to write about today, so I’ve decided to share another few of my poems. This time they are taken from my third collection, ‘Lovestruck’. Interestingly – and ironically – the first one is called ‘Bilingual’. I actually wrote it when I was supposed to be doing my Spanish homework (do you see a trend here?) and I was thinking about this guy – yes, it is slightly personal, *blush* – and then I got sidetracked… and really annoyed, actually, and so I wrote this.

The second one is called ‘Guessing Games’, which was my first attempt at rhyming poetry. (I’m not a huge fan of rhyming poetry…) But here they are. So, you know what to do!


Bilingual (From ‘Lovestruck’)

I speak English. You speak English.

We only speak English.

Or at least, that is the only language we can speak fluently.

So why

Does it feel like,

Most of the time

We are speaking two different languages?

Your words are obscure

Sometimes, what you say has no

Translation

It doesn’t fit neatly back into my way of thinking

It’s confusing

And just when I finally figure out ONE word

There are eighteen more to translate

Sentences are never simple

I have to string together highly-complex

Conjugated, conditional verbs and nouns

Tenses even I don’t understand

To force you to read between the lines.

I thought your alphabet would be easier

But it’s just like reading hieroglyphics

You have no key. No chart. No

Self-teaching tools.

You just have to… know.

There are no cognates. Nothing remotely

Familiar

About the things you say

Everything I say is easily lost

In Translation

You misinterpret the clearest messages

I wish

Sometimes, I just WISH

That you would talk

My language.


Guessing Games (From ‘Lovestruck)

You look at me

I look at you.

You smile at me

And I do too.

You look away, which I impute

Is down to me.

You’re kinda cute.

You look back up, your smiles unfurls

My heart does ballerina twirls.

Electrically, you shuffle in.

Your smile could cause a saint to sin.

Your searching eyes, they pierce right through

I’m now neck-deep in your gaze too

To which my breath has no escape

My heart it whispers, “Listen, wait.”

Then you lean down close to my ear

And whisper… but did I mishear

The compliment that you just paid

Was not for me, but for that jade!

I see her… and she’s mesmeric!

But you moved from ME pretty quick…

That’s not what I thought you would say

I should have got a play-by-play

Deep down, I wished that you’d see me

What you had called her, lovely

I will not play this game with you,

I will not guess, just tell the truth

I’m running circles, can’t you see

The impact that you have on me?

I give up.


I hope you liked them. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned before but I’m not the greatest at writing love poetry, and I don’t think that this collection is as good as the other two. But, you know, I thought it might be nice to get some other opinions. Please do comment and let me know what you think!

Adios, mis amigos!

Reina Rianna

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Fairy Tales Should Be Illegal

How outrageous! You gasp in horror, as you’ve just read the title of this post. I think not. And here’s why.

As a little girl, you long to hear the stories of the beautiful girl who is running down the marble staircase at midnight and loses her shoe. Or the story of the princess who lies on a mattress and tosses and turns due to her discomfiture by a pea, buried amidst a stack of mattresses. Or even the one of the young girl who kisses a frog which turns into a handsome prince.

Well, let me just tell you something. Fairy-tales suck.

They are the most unrealistic, unoriginal, misleading bunch of poop anybody has ever written, not to mention they never warn you that extreme attachment to them (Disney in my case) will get you into difficult situations faster than Snow White ate the apple she wasn’t supposed to.

It’s kind of sad, to be honest, that I’m so into Disney, and I’m cool with that. I completely understand. But at the same time, I thought that I would be able to separate reality from fiction and distinguish where the two begin to merge. The truth is that I can’t. (I thought I could handle it!) But it’s difficult. And especially having it stuffed down your throat from a young age that the only thing a girl needs to do is ‘find her prince’, and beginning planning your wedding from the ripe old age of 15 years, it’s difficult to think realistically. (I don’t think this is a problem, but it has certainly rung some alarm bells for people, and understandably so).

Quite frankly, I’m sick and tired of the perfect fairy tales, where the girl ALWAYS get the guy, and even if he is pre-engaged or has a royally-approved (usually by his parents) fiancée or partner, the girl – no matter how poor, unlucky or misfortuned – is always… ALWAYS the end wife. I’m now going to try and make some fairy tales realistic. *evil smile*

WARNING: Spoiler alert for all those of you who are idealists. Do not read on.

1. The Little Mermaid

ariel_by_dashingdesign-d5zn0gs

Now, let’s be real okay? First of all, there is NO way you would track someone down by their voice, especially their singing one. The amount of girls who can sing and sing really well at that is actually on the rise. No way would he have recognised someone as his ‘true love’ instantly, the moment that she opened her mouth to hum a tune with like, four notes. Five maximum. No. Just, no. Also, okay, humans are so greedy! The moment Eric realised that she was a mermaid he would be exploiting her for all she was worth; she would be on exhibition, he’d be touring her around the entire of whatever country which they lived in. He wouldn’t marry her; he’d SELL HER to some museum or something! She’d be experimented on, she’d be picked apart, probably killed in the process. No, Eric. Go home.

FINAL VERDICT: Ariel would end up stuffed in a glass cabinet as a forms of entertainment.


2. Rapunzel

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It would be SUPER cool for a girl to have grown enough hair for a man to climb up, and – scientifically – hair is pretty damn strong, so it probably IS possible. What is NOT, however, is the fortunate stumbling upon of the remote tower by an – assumedly attractive – prince. Let me just say, princes do NOT stumble upon you in your tower. Most girls have to go out and actively find their prince. If it was realistic for princes to come and find you, no girl would ever leave her house. So, get your facts right Rapunzel, you may be incredibly beautiful and alluring, but you are LOCKED UP IN A TOWER. Nobody would know that you exist.

For those of you who are more familiar with the Disney version, Tangled, let me just clarify:

Girls who are that naive and innocent would never survive with the likes of guys like Flynn Rider. In fact, Flynn Rider (although an incredibly hot rogue) would complete SMASH Rapunzel’s heart into tiny, chewable-sized pieces. Why do movies and books promote the message that good girls can make bad guys good? (Bit of a mouthful!) Really. They do sometimes maybe, but most of the time, the girl ends up damaged, hurt and – more than likely – less pure than she was before she went into the pursuit of this guy.

FINAL VERDICT: Rapunzel would be a heart-broken wreck who would have trust-issues for the rest of her life.


3. Beauty and The Beast
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Well, uhm… the title is pretty self-explanatory. First issue: his appearance.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying all girls are shallow and only judge based on appearance, but let’s be realistic. There is no way any girl would even have remote sympathy for a guy as ugly as he was. (And I’m not even talking about the beast; he was better looking as that animal than he was as a human being!) Not to mention his horrible personality and completely RUDE attitude would make her entirely uninterested.

She would not have stuck around. The moment she saw he had anger issues, if she had any sense, she would have been out of there before that last stinking petal fell. She also would NOT have gone into the West Wing. Because if a large, raging beast tells you NOT to go somewhere, you DON’T go there. Second issue: the fact that he was pretty controlling and selfish. I mean, who keeps a lovely teenage girl locked up in a room with talking furniture as company? He was totally psycho.

FINAL VERDICT: Belle runs away from the abusive home and never actually develops any sympathy for the beast.


So. Yes, I am in a bad mood. And yes, I am upset about how unrealistic fairy tales are and how fairy tales never happen in real life (because it would be GREAT if they did) but – as I’ve said about a million times – let’s be real here. (That is LBRH for all of you who are textlexic…)

Fairy tales should be banished.

I Want To be Like Other Girls…

Uhm, so I’m a total Disney geek. (The title is the name of a really cool song from Mulan 2, sung by the Princesses…) I mean, I DON’T want to be like other girls, because other girls aren’t the Queen. Or as generally awesome and unique as I am… Okay, they’re unique, but they’re just not ME.

It’s crazy how much work teachers think you can realistically achieve during the weekend. Because yes, it’s not like I have enough work to do during my actual school week, and of course, I can’t escape school so let me just have some more work. It’s not like I have a life either. (I don’t, but nobody needs to know that!) Like, geez! I’m not Superwoman and I’m CERTAINLY not Iron Man.

I wish I was though because he’s really cool.

Anyway, like you’ve probably guessed, I have too much work to do, so my post today won’t be super long, but just to let everyone know that I’m not dead! (Maybe we should riot and go on strike at schools! Maybe we could all join our forces together – since they think that we’re superheroes – and become some sort of Super Squad fighting the evil of homework… and my brain is running away, I’m SO sorry ladies and gentlemen…)

Take care everyone and have a fabulous day at school/college/wherever you are tomorrow… that was sarcastic, of course it can’t be fabulous, it’s WORKING… Nobody likes working. I’m pretty sure that even the Queen of England hates her job.

Well, it’s a good thing that I’m not the Queen of England then isn’t it?

Actually, no it’s not; I’d really like to be the Queen of England. It seems like quite a fun job. Running an ACTUAL country, since David Cameron and Nick Clegg don’t seem to be doing it very well at the moment. Although I’m not sure if England would accept me. I mean, I am a bit of a loser.

I need to do my work now – gosh, this blog is so distracting!

Laters my loyal subjects,

Her Royal Highness, Queen Rianna of the Astellian Isles (that sounds very official!)

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